My Bipolar Disorder Story
I’m a mild Bipolar II. Unlike Bipolar I there are no full-blown manic episodes with Bipolar II. I’m mostly in hypomania mode (hypo means below mania). I hardly do depression unless I’m in a financial stress. But little things and things that do not work really bug me. Little things during workshop may irritate the hell of me i.e. participants clicking their pens, twisting bottled water plastic…aaaah!
I used to consistently say “she” when I meant “he”, and vice versa. I used to say something else when I meant the opposite. However, this is not a sign of Bipolar. Over the years I’ve trained myself and “re-wired” my brain to overcome the “faulty wiring”.
Many people have the impression that Bipolar people have quick mood swings. And their behaviors are unpredictable. Actually if you live with them long enough you would notice their progressive patterns of behavior i.e. they react louder and louder as the irritation increases. I have learnt to communicate my feelings and moods as they progress. And if the mood feeling is too much I’ll walk away to cool off. In a severe Bipolar manic episode, a severe patient may be violent and 6-7 hospital assistants will not be able to hold him down, and you can’t reason with him in that state. Fortunately I had never hit anyone or was violent.
Verbally abusive, yes. When I’m in “peaking manic state” (temporary peaking mania is different from a long-term manic episode), I consciously try to distract myself or walk away. Lately, I’ve been staying in my own space and mindfully telling myself not to react or lash out, to keep quiet – it seems to be working, yay!
I do take medication but I must warn you that “triggers” (BD stressors) are stronger and can override medications. Triggers are usally in the form of a specific close relative/ friend/ spouse/ boss and a specific type of people (for me my trigger categroies are waiters, and customer service call center people). By understanding triggers I have learnt to see the trigger person/type coming, and avoid being irritated.
Bipolar have OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). Because of the nature of my work as CEO, training and strategic designer I go from one obsessive activity (e.g. writing, researching, reading multiple books/articles, reading news/Facebook, music, database, quick scanning for relevant information, absorbing massive details or data) to another obsessive activity. I’m usually totally engrossed and emerged in an activity. The plus is I’m fully dedicated in that activity. The minus is I forget about other priorities.
I get distracted and obsessed with the latest trending thing. Then I have to catch myself and “distract” myself with another distraction or obsession. Does this make any sense lol.
Luckily, I have the “good effects” of Bipolar which are high creativity, dramatic, entertaining, resourcefulness, boldness, outrageousness, resilience, and obsession (a tenacity to do long hours of research, and scanning through tedious data)
Read my in-depth description about Bipolar Disorder:
https://robertchaen.com/about/
I’m a mild Bipolar II. Unlike Bipolar I there are no full-blown manic episodes with Bipolar II. I’m mostly in hypomania mode (hypo means below mania). I hardly do depression unless I’m in a financial stress. But little things and things that do not work really bug me. Little things during workshop may irritate the hell of me i.e. participants clicking their pens, twisting bottled water plastic…aaaah!
I used to consistently say “she” when I meant “he”, and vice versa. I used to say something else when I meant the opposite. However, this is not a sign of Bipolar. Over the years I’ve trained myself and “re-wired” my brain to overcome the “faulty wiring”.
Many people have the impression that Bipolar people have quick mood swings. And their behaviors are unpredictable. Actually if you live with them long enough you would notice their progressive patterns of behavior i.e. they react louder and louder as the irritation increases. I have learnt to communicate my feelings and moods as they progress. And if the mood feeling is too much I’ll walk away to cool off. In a severe Bipolar manic episode, a severe patient may be violent and 6-7 hospital assistants will not be able to hold him down, and you can’t reason with him in that state. Fortunately I had never hit anyone or was violent.
Verbally abusive, yes. When I’m in “peaking manic state” (temporary peaking mania is different from a long-term manic episode), I consciously try to distract myself or walk away. Lately, I’ve been staying in my own space and mindfully telling myself not to react or lash out, to keep quiet – it seems to be working, yay!
I do take medication but I must warn you that “triggers” (BD stressors) are stronger and can override medications. Triggers are usally in the form of a specific close relative/ friend/ spouse/ boss and a specific type of people (for me my trigger categroies are waiters, and customer service call center people). By understanding triggers I have learnt to see the trigger person/type coming, and avoid being irritated.
Bipolar have OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). Because of the nature of my work as CEO, training and strategic designer I go from one obsessive activity (e.g. writing, researching, reading multiple books/articles, reading news/Facebook, music, database, quick scanning for relevant information, absorbing massive details or data) to another obsessive activity. I’m usually totally engrossed and emerged in an activity. The plus is I’m fully dedicated in that activity. The minus is I forget about other priorities.
I get distracted and obsessed with the latest trending thing. Then I have to catch myself and “distract” myself with another distraction or obsession. Does this make any sense lol.
Luckily, I have the “good effects” of Bipolar which are high creativity, dramatic, entertaining, resourcefulness, boldness, outrageousness, resilience, and obsession (a tenacity to do long hours of research, and scanning through tedious data)
Read my in-depth description about Bipolar Disorder:
https://robertchaen.com/about/
